October 11, 2011 at 3:18 pm (Thoughts)

As the cold comes on, thoughts of sweaters and bonfires, hot coffee and cold nights, fuzzy slippers and ice covered windshields, take over my mind.

This morning my windshield was fogged over, everything outside was blurry and I could barely see out. While many of you are thinking, “wow…that is dangerous” yes…it probably is; however, I wasn’t driving. 

As I sat there, looking out of the greyish glass, I reflected that the past year felt exactly like what I was seeing. Cloudy, blurry, indistinguishable. I flipped on my wipers and things became clearer. There were still streaks of moisture…I realized I need new wiper blades.

I am in desperate need of new life. For God to come in and take over. It has been so long since I have felt anything: motivation, pure joy, etc… I am numb to everything, going through the motions of everyday life, doing just what needs to be done. I take little to no joy in what I am doing.

Two weeks ago, at Life Group, I felt the Holy Spirit. Before you stop reading and think I’m nuts…let me explain. We were around a table sharing prayer requests. Two girls agreed to pray (one of them not being me). As the first girl began to pray, I felt a strong urge to pray for one of the girls that has trouble sleeping. She wakes up feeling held down as if something is holding her.

So, the first girl continued praying and I felt really hot and my heart started racing. I was going to ignore the promt to pray but once she was finished praying I blurted out the prayer. It was short but I couldn’t help but crying…though I really didn’t know why I was crying. And my hands started to sweat and the heat was almost unbearable (sorry to the girls that had to hold my hands while praying…)

I don’t say this to boast…I say it because that is what I want all the time. I want to feel the Holy Spirit. I want to feel God.




  1. Jennifer Ackerman said,

    Unfortunately we cannot have those feelings as often as we would like. God gives us glimpses of heaven like that to spur us on. I’m sure that prayer was exactly what your friend needed to hear….and the Spirit exactly what you needed to feel right then. Remember it, rejoice in it and keep moving forward. Obedience is the prelude to feelings.

  2. Beth said,

    God is so good. Well stated Jennifer! It is such a powerful glimpse of what we will behold! When we are obedient I think we are rewarded!

  3. Kim G. Alford said,

    Good words, girl… this makes me think of 1Corinthians 13:12… “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

    It also reminds me to get still and actually pray (rather than think about praying or talk about praying…) –Pray he keeps showing up and making our hands sweat!! 🙂
    Love you!

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