Now, for a word from our…

May 24, 2010 at 3:55 pm (Wedding)

For a moment, let’s put on our bifocals and enter the world of statistics. Come on, now ladies…no yawning! Sit up straight, put your pencils down….okay then.


  • According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
    The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
    The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
    The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73% Source

The above statistics scare me. Joseph and I are lucky to come homes that were “intact” so to speak – with our biological mothers and father present. It goes without saying that this is not the case in many people’s lives.

  • At the end of couple’s therapy, 75% of couples receiving therapy are better off than similar couples who did not receive therapy. Source

  • Sixty five percent of couples report “significant” improvement based on averaged scores of marital “satisfaction.” Source

Early on in our engagement we knew that premarital counseling was something we wanted to do and that we wanted to have a pastoral counselor. Our first appointment was considerably laid back and not what I expected. The discussion let us know what to expect from counseling and he asked us our first question, “What is the most annoying habit your partner has?” I answered, “When he shakes his leg up and down.” Mr. Geek replied, “When she closes up and doesn’t talk to me about things.”

At that moment I knew counseling would be difficult. I wanted to raise my hand and say, “but…but…but…you said habit…that isn’t a habit. Is it? If it is his most annoying habit it FILL IN THE BLANK.” Instead, I sat there staring at Mr. Geek with what must have been a nasty look because he frowned.

Our counselor gave us homework: two tests. Yes…tests. The first was a Kiersey Test which is a personality test. (I am a ISFJ and Mr. Geek is ENFP.) Which basically means we are almost completely opposite of one another. I am an introvert, he is an extrovert. I make decisions based on my feelings and morals, his decisions are made by complete logic. Does this mean we shouldn’t get married? Of course not.

The second test we took was “Prepare/Enrich” which determines your strengths and weaknesses as a couple. Some of the things is measures are communication, conflict resolution, roles, sexuality and finances. The test can also measure if you are lying…yeah….lying. It gives each person’s score an “ideal” percentage measure that lets the facilitator (aka the counselor) know if you answered the questions in an “ideal” manner.

Let’s just say I am in the 60% range while Joseph is in the 55% range. Anything above 65% is unhealthy. So I might have gotten an “F” but on this test…an “F” is okay.

Our next appointment is in one week. Our homework: play a game called UnGame for Couples which facilitates communication. Huh?

What type of marriage counseling did you and your SO attend? What kind of homework did they suggest? (Let’s keep it G-Rated ladies!) 


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